It's time, gentlemen: let's ship our cards

SDS

OK. Our cards have spent a full year together and they've been through a lot. And we all know that the bonds of brotherhood can sometimes blossom into something more. Something tender. Something beautiful.

It's time for us to ship our cards. Tell us who you're shipping and why. Give us a narrative and justification.

Honus Wagner & "Polar Bear" Pete Alonso

These two may seem like an odd match on paper. And while they never ceased feeling the ever-judgmental eyes of society taking in this May-December relationship, they gave their love everything they had. Despite a 120-year age gap, these two immediately felt their ageless souls intertwine during Spring Training in Pete's sophomore season. Honus -- already an adept first baseman -- pretended to have never played on the right side of the infield in order to get one-on-one training with the rugged 6'3" beardo he espied from across the clubhouse. He summoned the courage and asked Pete to stay after an intersquad game to teach him how to scoop balls out of the dirt. While Pete ultimately failed at imparting useful or even logical defensive wisdom, the two men couldn't deny the sparks that were flying across the diamond.

Relationship high points: Pete loved Honus's flexibility when taking on just about any position. And there was never any awkward, underlying team rivalry to deal with, as Pete played for a team that wasn't even formed until 5 years after Wagner's death.
Relationship low points: Honus was known to be a bit of a cuddler, and he was frankly never satisfied with Pete's limited contact.

Relationship downfall: Ultimately, an unspoken power struggle would lead to the end of their relationship. Honus felt like he had to constantly remind Pete that he played during the Dead Ball era. And, while he would never admit to it, Honus secretly felt like less of a man every time he saw Pete's HR Derby trophy. Pete eventually became frustrated with Honus's snide comments about how he played during the Juiced Ball era, so their stats really couldn't be compared. The pair split while tempers boiled over a week into their monthlong cruise to the Exumas. While this may sound awkward, their confined quarters post-breakup really forced the two men to address their issues. While they agreed they can never work as a couple, they spent the rest of their vacation laying the foundation for a lifelong friendship that would last until Wagner's death in 1955. Wagner never took another lover. He of course suspected that Pete had, but Pete would never discuss such matters with his former flame. Wagner knew the two could never be one, but he also found some comfort in knowing Pete spared him of jealousy. After Wagner's death, Pete was indicted on 4 counts of wire fraud and money laundering after he was accused of altering Wagner's will to leave everything to him. Pete would never confess -- he swore under oath that Wagner had himself changed the will just days prior to his passing -- but Pete aroused suspicions of his moral character as he immediately found himself the leader of a prison gang. Pete was later implicated in over a dozen prison stabbings, but he was never convicted. He was released at the age of 58 and lived out his days as a barge fisherman in the Exumas, where he often reminisced about his friend and their failed attempts at love.

SDS

This post makes me feel like an Astros fan in a waste management facility. A weird feeling of pleasure knowing that your trophy will never be stripped from you, but the uncomfortability that everything here originated with a trash can somewhere.

SDS

@bossman_277 said in It's time, gentlemen: let's ship our cards:

This post makes me feel like an Astros fan in a waste management facility. A weird feeling of pleasure knowing that your trophy will never be stripped from you, but the uncomfortability that everything here originated with a trash can somewhere.

Mission accomplished. All I ever wanted was for you to feel something.

SDS

All this talk of shipping made me almost ship myself.

https://youtu.be/lCsqABAQLjs

SDS

I thought this was gonna be about players hitting back to back in the lineup, then I realized, it's a SchnauzerFace post and I shouldn't have been thinking in the first place

SDS

@JustASeal0 said in It's time, gentlemen: let's ship our cards:

I thought this was gonna be about players hitting back to back in the lineup, then I realized, it's a SchnauzerFace post and I shouldn't have been thinking in the first place

I am taking this as a compliment.

Upon reflection, I believe this may be the finest post I have ever made. I may retire from this forum and end on top.

SDS

@SchnauzerFace said in It's time, gentlemen: let's ship our cards:

@JustASeal0 said in It's time, gentlemen: let's ship our cards:

I thought this was gonna be about players hitting back to back in the lineup, then I realized, it's a SchnauzerFace post and I shouldn't have been thinking in the first place

I am taking this as a compliment.

Upon reflection, I believe this may be the finest post I have ever made. I may retire from this forum and end on top.

I have lost my ability to believe due to the shedding of the sin of thought