This is a long post and don’t know why I’m compelled to share, so if you idgaf it, I totally understand.

TLDR: I started playing this game for pure joy and there were no DD incentives involved. Once I got hooked to DD, all I sought was winning and the tangible rewards that come with it. After taking a step back, I realize that my truest joy came from everything other than DD, the pure innocent fun of just playing (without the rewards).

In 2020, at the height of the pandemic, I took the plunge into modern gaming and began playing MLBTS. Along with it, I dragged two friends in with me. We had such a blast playing each other in custom leagues using standard MLB teams. I was enthralled. A month in, one of them encouraged me to start collecting cards in Diamond Dynasty. I resisted it, stating that Ultimate Team concepts are harmful psychological strategies to engage the consumer through quick dopamine rewards. However, a month in, I caved and became hooked to collecting some of my favorite old school players. The game served me well and got me through that brutal year everyone experienced.

In 2021, I got significantly better and became competitive online. I played relentlessly in every online mode and even went flawless later on in the year. However, with this competitiveness, it became tougher to experience a loss because tied to it was my availability of time. Take a loss? That meant that I have to play more games (and more time spent) to start a new BR run, or to win the 25 required wins in events, or start from lower in RS. In my head, I had to have everything.

2022 rolled in and I still felt exhausted from 2021. I started to grind, but finally questioned myself in the process, I’m most thankful for 2022 - the change in the way they have scheduled content has made me realize that this is not a sustainable hobby for me. It forced me to either let the content have me by the balls (because playing online, you want to have the most optimal team at all times), or move on in another direction. 2022 has reminded me that when I’m influenced by the schedule of a game’s content, that I’m affected very negatively by it.

I’ve come full circle in this game. I’ve gone from offline player to fierce online competitor and now back to where my joy of this game comes from; just chillin and playing for fun when I can. Offline is where it’s at for me now! If you have any thoughts or related experiences, they’re totally welcome.

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