The best advice I can give...
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I don't know much. I'm an average player. But here's my best advice for the 2022 game cycle. Ready?
If you are playing season 9 BR, and you face Finest Trout... just walk him.
You're welcome.
My opponents are 4-5 with 3 HRs against me. I pitch in, out, up, down, fast, slow, out of the zone... doesn't matter. I have not been lucky enough to draft Trout in BR yet, but if I do, I'm sure I'll hit lots of infield pop-ups with him.
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That's very good advice.
My best advice is to never eat poisoned waffles, not matter how good they look. You'll tell yourself, "yes, I saw my wife lace these waffles with digitalis. But just a tiny little piece isn't going to hurt anyone." Then you realize that "tiny little piece" didn't have much strawberry compote. And you know that she mixed a generous amount of thallium in with the compote, but, still, you say, "OK, I might spend a rough afternoon on the toilet, but it's nothing I haven't lived through before. Just one more bite."
Oh, man! You realize that you forgot to add some powdered sugar! If you're going to do this, you gotta do it right, ya know? Sure, you actually saw the security camera footage of your wife pouring ricin into the powdered sugar contaner, so you quickly Google "how much ricin can I eat and still be OK?" Then you double it (half of the mixture is presumably powdered sugar, after all) and then scoop away just a little bit. That should keep you on this side of the living, right?
But after all that Googling, you realize the syrup has had time to run off the sides of the waffle and pool on the plate. You have very good reason to believe that your wife's new lover mixed ethylene glycol into the syrup, but that's not a problem. You can Google your way through this. A lethal dose of antifreeze is between 500-1500 mL. Just to be safe, you carefully measure out 999 mL (again, we're assuming half the mixture is legitimate, delicious, delicious syrup).
Turns out the thallium made the strawberry compote a little bitter, so you go to the fridge. The only fruits you have are pokeweed, juniper, cotoneaster, yew berries, and mistletoe. Some more Googling tells you all of these are poisonous. But! You've outsmarted the poisons! The digitalis is going to give your heart a jump start, but juuuust the right amount of mistletoe is going to even things out. You know what you're doing.
Before you realize it, you're at the toaster for your second batch of waffles. As far as you know, your wife didn't lace these with digitalis, but the mistletoe really added something special and you're not willing to forgo that extra kick on the second round, so you add juuuust a touch of foxglove to counteract the phoratoxins. A little more whipped cream, a little sprinkling of powdered ricin. Handful of berries, and you're good to go.
Right? Wrong. You may not realize it at the time, but four servings of waffles with all that butter, syrup, powdered sugar, and fructose from the berries is going to put you on a path to inflamed joints, spiked blood sugar, and skyrocketing triglycerides. It's not worth it, friends. It's not.
UNLESS you've had a rough day and you feel like you've earned a little treat or a quick pick-me-up. Happiness isn't found on the end of a fork, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't treat yourself. You deserve it!
So, in the end... eat the waffles.
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@SchnauzerFace_MLBTS said in The best advice I can give...:
That's very good advice.
My best advice is to never eat poisoned waffles, not matter how good they look. You'll tell yourself, "yes, I saw my wife lace these waffles with digitalis. But just a tiny little piece isn't going to hurt anyone." Then you realize that "tiny little piece" didn't have much strawberry compote. And you know that she mixed a generous amount of thallium in with the compote, but, still, you say, "OK, I might spend a rough afternoon on the toilet, but it's nothing I haven't lived through before. Just one more bite."
Oh, man! You realize that you forgot to add some powdered sugar! If you're going to do this, you gotta do it right, ya know? Sure, you actually saw the security camera footage of your wife pouring ricin into the powdered sugar contaner, so you quickly Google "how much ricin can I eat and still be OK?" Then you double it (half of the mixture is presumably powdered sugar, after all) and then scoop away just a little bit. That should keep you on this side of the living, right?
But after all that Googling, you realize the syrup has had time to run off the sides of the waffle and pool on the plate. You have very good reason to believe that your wife's new lover mixed ethylene glycol into the syrup, but that's not a problem. You can Google your way through this. A lethal dose of antifreeze is between 500-1500 mL. Just to be safe, you carefully measure out 999 mL (again, we're assuming half the mixture is legitimate, delicious, delicious syrup).
Turns out the thallium made the strawberry compote a little bitter, so you go to the fridge. The only fruits you have are pokeweed, juniper, cotoneaster, yew berries, and mistletoe. Some more Googling tells you all of these are poisonous. But! You've outsmarted the poisons! The digitalis is going to give your heart a jump start, but juuuust the right amount of mistletoe is going to even things out. You know what you're doing.
Before you realize it, you're at the toaster for your second batch of waffles. As far as you know, your wife didn't lace these with digitalis, but the mistletoe really added something special and you're not willing to forgo that extra kick on the second round, so you add juuuust a touch of foxglove to counteract the phoratoxins. A little more whipped cream, a little sprinkling of powdered ricin. Handful of berries, and you're good to go.
Right? Wrong. You may not realize it at the time, but four servings of waffles with all that butter, syrup, powdered sugar, and fructose from the berries is going to put you on a path to inflamed joints, spiked blood sugar, and skyrocketing triglycerides. It's not worth it, friends. It's not.
UNLESS you've had a rough day and you feel like you've earned a little treat or a quick pick-me-up. Happiness isn't found on the end of a fork, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't treat yourself. You deserve it!
So, in the end... eat the waffles.
I can't have gluten, so this offends me. How dare you sir.
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@AlexTheGreater7_XBL said in The best advice I can give...:
@SchnauzerFace_MLBTS said in The best advice I can give...:
That's very good advice.
My best advice is to never eat poisoned waffles, not matter how good they look. You'll tell yourself, "yes, I saw my wife lace these waffles with digitalis. But just a tiny little piece isn't going to hurt anyone." Then you realize that "tiny little piece" didn't have much strawberry compote. And you know that she mixed a generous amount of thallium in with the compote, but, still, you say, "OK, I might spend a rough afternoon on the toilet, but it's nothing I haven't lived through before. Just one more bite."
Oh, man! You realize that you forgot to add some powdered sugar! If you're going to do this, you gotta do it right, ya know? Sure, you actually saw the security camera footage of your wife pouring ricin into the powdered sugar contaner, so you quickly Google "how much ricin can I eat and still be OK?" Then you double it (half of the mixture is presumably powdered sugar, after all) and then scoop away just a little bit. That should keep you on this side of the living, right?
But after all that Googling, you realize the syrup has had time to run off the sides of the waffle and pool on the plate. You have very good reason to believe that your wife's new lover mixed ethylene glycol into the syrup, but that's not a problem. You can Google your way through this. A lethal dose of antifreeze is between 500-1500 mL. Just to be safe, you carefully measure out 999 mL (again, we're assuming half the mixture is legitimate, delicious, delicious syrup).
Turns out the thallium made the strawberry compote a little bitter, so you go to the fridge. The only fruits you have are pokeweed, juniper, cotoneaster, yew berries, and mistletoe. Some more Googling tells you all of these are poisonous. But! You've outsmarted the poisons! The digitalis is going to give your heart a jump start, but juuuust the right amount of mistletoe is going to even things out. You know what you're doing.
Before you realize it, you're at the toaster for your second batch of waffles. As far as you know, your wife didn't lace these with digitalis, but the mistletoe really added something special and you're not willing to forgo that extra kick on the second round, so you add juuuust a touch of foxglove to counteract the phoratoxins. A little more whipped cream, a little sprinkling of powdered ricin. Handful of berries, and you're good to go.
Right? Wrong. You may not realize it at the time, but four servings of waffles with all that butter, syrup, powdered sugar, and fructose from the berries is going to put you on a path to inflamed joints, spiked blood sugar, and skyrocketing triglycerides. It's not worth it, friends. It's not.
UNLESS you've had a rough day and you feel like you've earned a little treat or a quick pick-me-up. Happiness isn't found on the end of a fork, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't treat yourself. You deserve it!
So, in the end... eat the waffles.
I can't have gluten, so this offends me. How dare you sir.
Your wife was thoughtful enough to poison you with gluten-free waffles. Everything is gonna be A-OK!
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@arvcpa_MLBTS said in The best advice I can give...:
I don't know much. I'm an average player. But here's my best advice for the 2022 game cycle. Ready?
If you are playing season 9 BR, and you face Finest Trout... just walk him.
You're welcome.
My opponents are 4-5 with 3 HRs against me. I pitch in, out, up, down, fast, slow, out of the zone... doesn't matter. I have not been lucky enough to draft Trout in BR yet, but if I do, I'm sure I'll hit lots of infield pop-ups with him.
For some reason I am seeing a lot of opponents hitting pitches somewhat hard WAY outside the zone with mediocre to poor timing.
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@SchnauzerFace_MLBTS said in The best advice I can give...:
@AlexTheGreater7_XBL said in The best advice I can give...:
@SchnauzerFace_MLBTS said in The best advice I can give...:
That's very good advice.
My best advice is to never eat poisoned waffles, not matter how good they look. You'll tell yourself, "yes, I saw my wife lace these waffles with digitalis. But just a tiny little piece isn't going to hurt anyone." Then you realize that "tiny little piece" didn't have much strawberry compote. And you know that she mixed a generous amount of thallium in with the compote, but, still, you say, "OK, I might spend a rough afternoon on the toilet, but it's nothing I haven't lived through before. Just one more bite."
Oh, man! You realize that you forgot to add some powdered sugar! If you're going to do this, you gotta do it right, ya know? Sure, you actually saw the security camera footage of your wife pouring ricin into the powdered sugar contaner, so you quickly Google "how much ricin can I eat and still be OK?" Then you double it (half of the mixture is presumably powdered sugar, after all) and then scoop away just a little bit. That should keep you on this side of the living, right?
But after all that Googling, you realize the syrup has had time to run off the sides of the waffle and pool on the plate. You have very good reason to believe that your wife's new lover mixed ethylene glycol into the syrup, but that's not a problem. You can Google your way through this. A lethal dose of antifreeze is between 500-1500 mL. Just to be safe, you carefully measure out 999 mL (again, we're assuming half the mixture is legitimate, delicious, delicious syrup).
Turns out the thallium made the strawberry compote a little bitter, so you go to the fridge. The only fruits you have are pokeweed, juniper, cotoneaster, yew berries, and mistletoe. Some more Googling tells you all of these are poisonous. But! You've outsmarted the poisons! The digitalis is going to give your heart a jump start, but juuuust the right amount of mistletoe is going to even things out. You know what you're doing.
Before you realize it, you're at the toaster for your second batch of waffles. As far as you know, your wife didn't lace these with digitalis, but the mistletoe really added something special and you're not willing to forgo that extra kick on the second round, so you add juuuust a touch of foxglove to counteract the phoratoxins. A little more whipped cream, a little sprinkling of powdered ricin. Handful of berries, and you're good to go.
Right? Wrong. You may not realize it at the time, but four servings of waffles with all that butter, syrup, powdered sugar, and fructose from the berries is going to put you on a path to inflamed joints, spiked blood sugar, and skyrocketing triglycerides. It's not worth it, friends. It's not.
UNLESS you've had a rough day and you feel like you've earned a little treat or a quick pick-me-up. Happiness isn't found on the end of a fork, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't treat yourself. You deserve it!
So, in the end... eat the waffles.
I can't have gluten, so this offends me. How dare you sir.
Your wife was thoughtful enough to poison you with gluten-free waffles. Everything is gonna be A-OK!
Oh, ok then, problem solved.
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@SchnauzerFace_MLBTS said in The best advice I can give...:
The only fruits you have are pokeweed, juniper, cotoneaster, yew berries, and mistletoe.
As usual, you've provided a well-thought-out response. I can only find one flaw... why is Cotoneaster in your refrigerator? It is well-known that Cotoneasters thrive in moist but well-drained soil, in full sun to partial shade.
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@AlexTheGreater7_XBL said in The best advice I can give...:
@SchnauzerFace_MLBTS said in The best advice I can give...:
That's very good advice.
My best advice is to never eat poisoned waffles, not matter how good they look. You'll tell yourself, "yes, I saw my wife lace these waffles with digitalis. But just a tiny little piece isn't going to hurt anyone." Then you realize that "tiny little piece" didn't have much strawberry compote. And you know that she mixed a generous amount of thallium in with the compote, but, still, you say, "OK, I might spend a rough afternoon on the toilet, but it's nothing I haven't lived through before. Just one more bite."
Oh, man! You realize that you forgot to add some powdered sugar! If you're going to do this, you gotta do it right, ya know? Sure, you actually saw the security camera footage of your wife pouring ricin into the powdered sugar contaner, so you quickly Google "how much ricin can I eat and still be OK?" Then you double it (half of the mixture is presumably powdered sugar, after all) and then scoop away just a little bit. That should keep you on this side of the living, right?
But after all that Googling, you realize the syrup has had time to run off the sides of the waffle and pool on the plate. You have very good reason to believe that your wife's new lover mixed ethylene glycol into the syrup, but that's not a problem. You can Google your way through this. A lethal dose of antifreeze is between 500-1500 mL. Just to be safe, you carefully measure out 999 mL (again, we're assuming half the mixture is legitimate, delicious, delicious syrup).
Turns out the thallium made the strawberry compote a little bitter, so you go to the fridge. The only fruits you have are pokeweed, juniper, cotoneaster, yew berries, and mistletoe. Some more Googling tells you all of these are poisonous. But! You've outsmarted the poisons! The digitalis is going to give your heart a jump start, but juuuust the right amount of mistletoe is going to even things out. You know what you're doing.
Before you realize it, you're at the toaster for your second batch of waffles. As far as you know, your wife didn't lace these with digitalis, but the mistletoe really added something special and you're not willing to forgo that extra kick on the second round, so you add juuuust a touch of foxglove to counteract the phoratoxins. A little more whipped cream, a little sprinkling of powdered ricin. Handful of berries, and you're good to go.
Right? Wrong. You may not realize it at the time, but four servings of waffles with all that butter, syrup, powdered sugar, and fructose from the berries is going to put you on a path to inflamed joints, spiked blood sugar, and skyrocketing triglycerides. It's not worth it, friends. It's not.
UNLESS you've had a rough day and you feel like you've earned a little treat or a quick pick-me-up. Happiness isn't found on the end of a fork, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't treat yourself. You deserve it!
So, in the end... eat the waffles.
I can't have gluten, so this offends me. How dare you sir.
Lol well played
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